Threats Don't Work

➡️ Because then you need leverage. And what if they just reallyyyyy want what they want? Do you just keep listing off all of their favourite things until one sticks?

And then how is that even related to the current situation? (As in the first example below?)

➡️ Because then you’re saying one of the options is “bad” or that one is “better” than the other. And that’s not true. Reading books isn’t “better” than nap time, but that’s what we’re implying if we threaten with it.

Instead of this:

👤 “If you don’t stop throwing your toys, you don’t get to go to your friend’s birthday this weekend.”

👤 “If we leave the park right now, you can watch tv at home!”

👤 “If you throw food on the ground, you can’t have any more.”

👤 “If you want to read a book we have to change your diaper first.”

➡️ But don’t you have to threaten if they don’t listen to you the first time? Nope!

Try this:

✨SAY THIS✨ “Toys are not for throwing. Toys are for playing with on the play mat. Let’s put the doll in the stroller!”

✨THEN THIS✨ “It looks like you’re having a hard time with your toys. I’m going to put them away and we can try again later.”

✨SAY THIS✨ “It’s time to go home now. I know it’s hard to leave when we’re having fun. Would you like to walk or go in your stroller?”

✨THEN THIS✨ “I hear that you want to stay at the park. It’s time to go home now. I’m going to put you in your stroller.”

✨SAY THIS✨ “When you throw food on the ground you’re telling me you’re all done with your breakfast. Are you all done eating?”

✨THEN THIS✨ “When you throw food on the ground you’re telling me you’re all done with your breakfast. Breakfast is over now. You can have a snack later.”

✨SAY THIS✨ “First I’m going to change your diaper and then you can play with blocks. Would you like to walk to the change table or carry?”

✨THEN THIS✨ “It looks like you’re having a hard time picking. I’m going to carry you this time.”