Instead of Telling Them What To Do

Toddlers are told what to do ALL THE TIME.

When to eat lunch

When to have a nap

What to wear

Where to go

When to go back home

When to brush their teeth

And on and on and on.

Sure - we can give choices within their day (e.g. “do you want to wear your sandals or running shoes?”), but the overall decisions are made by us.

💛 One of my main parenting strategies is to “make your word as good as gold”. So before I tell my toddler to do something, I make sure I actually mean it and I’m going to follow through if he doesn’t. 

So when I want my toddler to do something but it doesn’t actually matter?

I try to avoid telling him what to do. 

➡️ How do I do this?

I talk about myself. Not about him. It’s like modelling, with the addition of verbalizing what I’m doing to draw more attention to it.

“When I […], I like to […]”

Instead of this/Try this:

👤 “Use your fork to eat spaghetti.”

✨ “When I eat spaghetti, I like to use my fork like this!”

👤 “Walk slowly through the puddles so you don’t get water in your shoes”

✨ “When I walk through puddles I like to walk slowly, like this! That way I don’t get water in my shoes.”

👤 “Kick the soccer ball this way.”

✨ “When I kick the soccer ball, I like to do it like this.”

👤 “Hold the measuring cup like this.”

✨ “When I use the measuring cup, I like to do it like this”

He might try to do it the way I’m showing him. Or he might not! It’s up to him. If he copies me, great! He’s more likely to because it’s not a battle of wills.

And if he continues to do it his way? Who cares! He’ll figure out on his own eventually :)

Note: Do I do this for every single interaction?! Of course not! I don’t even do it every day. I love staying quiet while he figures things out on his own. It’s one strategy of many 💛.