Holding Boundaries with Extended Family

“All these parenting practices sound great, but what happens when he’s with other people who don’t get it?”

First, remember this:

✨You can only control what happens in your own home✨

Your children are spending their foundational time with YOU. YOU are laying the groundwork for the rest of their lives, and what happens in your home matters most.

➡️ That being said, I have a few non-negotiables.

Sleep routines, tv watching, food neutrality, and consent.

Yours are likely different.

Pick what’s ✨most✨ important to you. And I mean REALLY important.

If I’m policing every single interaction that other people have with my children, it’s going to be stressful and not fun for anyone.

Everything we do with our family is intentional, but it’s not realistic that every single person in our kids lives will be able to do everything exactly like we do.

And that’s ok!

AND it’s also ok to be firm with the boundaries that mean the most to you.

➡️ How do we hold those ✨boundaries✨?

“The more you defend your boundaries, the weaker they become” - @drbeckyatgoodinside.

1️⃣ ✨Be Confident✨

I state things like they’re fact. I don’t really care if my uncle doesn’t understand why we have to leave at 1pm to be home for nap time. It’s not a debate. It’s a statement.

This can look like: “We need to leave by 1pm. What time should we arrive so we have enough time together?”

2️⃣ ✨Don’t Over Explain✨

In addition to the reason above, I never want anyone to think we’re judging their parenting style because we do something different. I don’t need to tell them all the reasons why my kids don’t watch tv until age 2.

This can look like: “Owen doesn’t watch tv. Let me know if it’s on and I’ll take him to another room!”

3️⃣ ✨Get Ahead of It✨

Don’t wait for things to get awkward. Instead of great-grandad accidentally saying the wrong thing, smoothly jump in ahead of time so they can follow your lead with your child.

This can look like: “Owen, do you want to give great-grandad a hug or wave hello?”

💛 And those other strategies you use? Model them when you interact with your child!